God Wins…but can I ?

A Mother's Journey


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If I Walk Away . . .

Days that matter: Mother’s Day and Bereaved Mother’s Day. Grateful for the healing work that comes from sharing my heart. This post is so meaningful to me. It was written in 2015 and is still true.

If I Walk Away . . . 

It may happen on expected days –

a birthday,

Mother’s Day,

Thanksgiving,

or

Christmas.

It may happen on unexpected days –

the first day of school,

an ordinary sunny day,

or

a stormy day.

It may happen at the mall

as I walk behind a teenage girl with

long, brown hair

or

when I’m introduced to an adorable,

petite, blue-eyed,

three-year old cherub.

It may happen on a crowded street

as my eyes catch

a woman’s purse adorned with

the Eiffel Tower

or

a mother and daughter

walking arm in arm.

In a split second,

my head feels light.

My stomach aches.

My arms and legs are heavy.

Harsh reality hits in

one, single swoop.

My eyes reflect a distant look

as I smile.

Sometimes people ask.

Other times they don’t.

Leaving me to wonder if

they have any sense of

the depth of the sorrow.

I absorb the moment.

Only sharing it with a precious few.

Just know that if I step away,

I may be walking into a moment of grief

or

running toward a special memory.

Know that if I walk away,

I will eventually return

but

trust me

if I need to walk away.

2001 8 aug fam walk