God Wins…but can I ?

A Mother's Journey

Your Heart is Calling

10 Comments

As the years pass, the protective covering gets harder.

Exposed to the elements of life, you trust less – doubt more.

A casing forms – similar to bark on a tree or the shell of a tortoise.

Layers grow over with each:

  • Betrayal
  • Harsh word
  • Disappointment
  • Violent act
  • Painful illness
  • Lie
  • Wound
  • Sad situation
  • Death

Especially death.

It wasn’t always this way.

Try to remember.

Focus really, really hard.

Go back.

Remember the tender, trusting warmth of that first friend, first crush, first kiss, first love.

Picture moments of music, dance and silly laughter.

See the face of the person who first believed in you, first trusted you, first loved you.

Let yourself go there.

Place yourself in these moments – before any disillusionment.

Don’t run from these memories – thinking that their impact is lost and forever gone.

Explaining the peace away as young naivete.

Hold the images.

Look at them.

Turn them over.

See them. Really see them.

It will start to happen.

Healing of the outside walls.

The protective covering cracks.

Chipping open  . . .

. . . the outer hardness breaks.

The soft inside is warm and comforting.

Calling you.

It is still there:

  • Unlocked
  • Alive
  • Beating
  • Hopeful
  • Real

Waiting for you.

Your heart is there.

Pure.

Whole.

Tender.

Strong.

Lovingly patient.

Calling you back to who you truly are – who you are truly made to be.

Your heart is whispering.

Listen.

 

Blog_heart soft inside

Author: Marie E Guthrie

What can I say about myself? My heart beats fast for my family, friends and calling. Professionally, I have a passion for helping people and organizations tell their stories in a compelling way and I have been doing this fun work my whole career. Never once bored in the marketing and communications profession. Presently, I am providing consulting services to corporate and nonprofit organizations. For seven years, I was the Senior Director of Corporate Marketing and Communications at Awana. I am dedicated to learning how to better love my family members and friends. I am married to a very special man, Mark. I have two children. Grant in his college years - a treasure. My beautiful daughter Leah is now in heaven. Her 14 month battle with cancer has taken me down a road that I never thought I'd go, but I would do it all again. This blog is dedicated to my brave and faithful daughter. At a young age, I was drawn to the sacrificial love I learned about as I was taught about Christ. My heart since age eight was transformed from total selfishness to a heart that desired to love God and others. This love has driven who I am - far from perfect, but dedicated to the One who loves me more than any human ever could. I have questions for God about the story of my life; I wrestle with Him about losing Leah, but He and I go deep. Still feel His arms around me. We are taking it day by day.

10 thoughts on “Your Heart is Calling

  1. Beautiful 💖

  2. Beautiful. Hugs.

  3. So poignant, so true for my own life.
    Thank you.

  4. Dear Marie, Thank you so much for reminding me of the “good old days”, which is really the here and now (because that is all we really have) and that is Gods goodness that allows us to overcome by his grace our hurts and disappointments of the past.
    I thank the Lord Jesus that you, Mark and Grant are in my life and that we can share our joys and disappointments as family.
    May the Lord Jesus keep blessing and strengthening you all. How often, when I look at Photos of the Family from the past (When all was still well with all of us)I thank Jesus for you all and look forward to the day ,when we will all be reunited in HIS presence.
    Always yours
    with all my Love

    Opa Werner

  5. Loved this post Marie. A beautiful, healing meditation. I need to read this post (or think about those early years/feelings) on a daily basis, as a nurturing, healing exercise. Thank you for the much needed reminder Marie. Love, Michael D.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s