Our Future – Dancing on a Star
You may have said to me, or may think, “Marie, I don’t know how you did it. I couldn’t do it.” The thought of walking your child through a terminal illness horrifies you. The truth is that the experience is horrifying…and draining… and terrible. And just about every negative emotion that exists.
I imagine that you think you would fall to pieces, melt, curl up in a ball, or freeze up.
The truth is that if your child, or another loved one, had a terminal illness…you could do it. You could do it because you love your child. Love kicks in and provides the energy that gives you “the fight.” Love gives you the superhuman ability to withstand more than you could imagine.
Love gave our family the strength to: take Leah to dozens of clinic appointments, wait for scans and test results, drive two hours a day for 12 weeks to radiation appointments, see her through in-hospital chemo treatments, decorate her hospital and hospice rooms, sit for countless hours by her side, coax her to take medicine, advocate for her with medical professionals, comfort her…
But where does this kind of love come from?
By the time Leah was in hospice, my spiritual, emotional and physical world was depleted. My prayers were simple “Jesus, just use me. I want Leah to see you in me.”
During Leah’s final nine days, we lived in the hospice facility with her. She wasn’t sleeping well and neither were we. We didn’t leave her side at all. Exhausted, I kept praying “Jesus, just use me.”
Wanting to say meaningful and spiritually comforting things, I could barely think – my mind and emotions were worn thin. The day before Leah passed away, I felt compelled to whisper in her ear, “Leah, one day we’ll be dancing on a star together.” Leah gently moaned. I immediately thought, “Where did this thought come from?” I have no idea why I said “dancing on a star.” None.
There were several more words I shared, much to private to share with you, that I felt compelled to say. As Leah left us for heaven, she was surrounded by love.
Weeks passed and I replayed our last moments together. In April, an unexpected, large, poster-like package arrived. Opening it, I couldn’t believe my eyes. A beautiful certificate was included from the National Star Registry. Make-A-Wish learned of Leah’s passing and registered a star in her name! I had no idea they did this beautiful act for their Make-A-Wish kids. It took a few minutes to sink in … and then the tears flowed.
YES! We WILL be dancing on a star together – a star named Leah Guthrie in the constellation Orion.
I have a gulp in my throat and tears now as I write. There is no way that what went from my mouth to Leah’s ears to the naming of her star are a coincidence. I begged God to be present and intervene and He did.
So one future day, look for us on the star Leah Guthrie in the Orion constellation. Leah will be doing a lyrical dance and I may be doing a line dance, but we’ll be there together. Know that the Author of all love is there to help you through any trial – current or future. He clearly wanted me to know He was with us the whole time and will continue to be with us.
“Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:12-13